Browsing the parenting stacks at any book store can turn up lots of advice you don’t need or want: potty train your infant, calm your crier, discipline without disciplining. It’s a rarity to find something that actually pertains to your experience that doesn’t follow along some catchy shtick about drinking and mothering or cushy moms with cushy jobs who are having a really tough time getting their husbands to, well, change a diaper. Because I’ve suffered through too many of these and beach season is upon us, here’s a list of mama books from women and men who get that motherhood is all about surviving the trenches and finding a good joke to escape with your life. Plus, there’s some fiction too.
Operating Instructions: A Journal of My Son’s First Year:: Anne Lamott
By far the most hilarious and heartfelt memoir about motherhood. Lamott goes at it alone (with a slew of help from her eccentric friends) and you’re convinced she’s going to throw up the white flag of defeat, start drinking again, and maybe hand off her responsibilities to her beloved cat. Of course she never does. Her humor is infectious, her first year observations dead on, and the end will leave you wondering how one person could withstand so much loss
The Big Rumpus:: Ayun Halliday
Forget the soccer fields and sprawling McMansions, Halliday is a city girl with quirkiness to boot. Squeezing a family of four into a tiny NYC apartment pales in comparison to her adventures in the delivery room, playground battles, holiday mishaps, and a battle with lice that’s truly legendary. Honest and self-deprecating, this former waitress and current zinester is always good for a laugh.
Hipmama Survival Guide :: Ariel Gore
Definitely not your run of the mill motherhood guide and I’m eternally grateful for that. I’ll never forget reading her “Cool Things About Poverty” list. She had me at “nothing left to lose.”
Mamaphiles 1,2, 3
At first, a collection of 33 mama zine writers sharing their poignant stories about bringing up baby, two more editions gave rise to a melting pot of experiences and voices that eventually spawned the momoir. Read Andrea Buchanan before she co-wrote the Daring Book For Girls. Inspiring every woman to find and maintain their creative outlet, I’m thankful I found these women when I did.
Midwives :: Chris Bohjalian
With an ending I’ll never forget, this heart wrenching novel will have you grabbing your towel for some warmth. Set against a frigid and dangerous Vermont ice storm, a midwife must make a life or death decision to save the unborn child of a client. With the power lines down and the roads frozen, will her choice be the right one? One of Oprah’s original book club selections and who wants to argue with the Big O?
Angry Housewives Eating Bon Bons :: Lorna Landvik
Follow these housewives through three decades of friendship. They drink, they smoke, they read books, raise children, and lash out. An activist, a sex kitten, an abused wife, and a widow begin their friendship in 1968 and form unbreakable bonds through divorce, joints, and illegitimate children. You may be thinking Ya Ya or Tomatoes, but honestly, Angry Housewives is good in its own right.
Little Children:: Tom Perrotta
Dark, sexy and suburban, Perrotta’s description of playground conversation had me feeling like he was following me around. Not that I have those banal best preschool, eating / sleeping habit conversations, but that I openly don’t know how to fake my ambivalence. Sure Sarah is flawed and neglects her own child, but she sure has one hell of an affair. Juicy, disturbing, and captures the heart of suburban contempt.
The Tenant of Wildfell Hall :: Anne Bronte
Anne always gets the shaft because of Charlotte and Emily, but this novel is not only incredibly modern, but stands alone as one of the best mama reads, ever. Don’t let the time period scare you — it’s easy (I promise). This is the story of what would happen if Heathcliffe and Catherine were able to marry. A good woman marries a bad boy who can’t keep it in his pants, becomes and alcoholic, and verbally abuses his wife. The wife leaves her husband (completely unheard of and revolutionary) with her son and creates a new life for herself as an artist. You’ll never daydream about that sexy / mysterious man the same way again.
Brain Child Magazine
This bi-monthly magazine is smart, comical and a must read for mothers who want to look beyond ditzy advice columns about your grocery budget. Always ahead of the curve, it’s a good day when I find this in my mailbox.
